Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
