i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
