"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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