Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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