I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
