If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
