There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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