Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
