I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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