Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
