I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
