So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
