so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I need water and some morals
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