I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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