Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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