You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
