I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
