my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
