I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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