Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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