If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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