yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
