I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
