dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
how drunk are you?
Several
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
