i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
