this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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