OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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