I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
