Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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