You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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