Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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