happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
