After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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