rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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