YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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