Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
