Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
