GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
