i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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