So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
