so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
