69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
