your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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