Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Damn victory sex feels great
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
