I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
