Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
