I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
