Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
is it fun? or sober?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
