Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize