yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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