I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
