hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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