I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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