HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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